About Me

My photo
I was motivated to start a blog by reading all the wonderful talented individual's who have blogs out there. So, I want to make this blog about everyone who reads it. My family and God always comes first in my life. I want to share my experiences and in turn, hope to get feedback and ideas from you. I love unique things, I adore anything that sparkles (not over the top though) I love decorating, cooking, gardening, photography and shopping. My number one passion is photography! To me it becomes more than a picture, it can become a piece of art, or a beautiful memory. Decorating, though I am not a professional, and don't claim to be, has been a part of my life since I was very young, and just love searching and shopping for new ideas and incorporate the old, such as Mid-Century Modern and Hollywood Regency with contemporary. Living close to the Gulf of Mexico in Florida, and being of Hispanic heritage, I love cooking Mexican food, and love to share my authentic recipes. Though I live in Florida, my heart is in the desert southwest, and hope that my family and I will return there very soon…keep your fingers crossed that my prayers are answered SOON!!!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Loss of my Baby Brother....

http://youtu.be/MCVvSArfVw0

Three weeks ago on Saturday, my handsome, sweet, loving, Christian, brother and his wife had their second baby, another precious little girl, Kara, she was a big baby around 8 pds 10 oz.  She began losing weight, so had to go back into the hospital, only being home for less then two weeks.  My brother worked 60 hours a week, and was so exhausted from work, being at the hospital and he was back in school for his Masters.  One week ago, last Thursday, he got into an argument with my Mother, for whom he did everything in the world for.  Well, she lived up in this southern state where he did, and one day back in June decided to not tell him, and move back here to Florida for my nephew to take care of her.  She was here not even a month, fell, and was placed into a nursing home.  She continued to call my brother that she wanted to come back up there....she didn't even know they were having another baby.  My little brother, only 42,  was so devastated by what she did, he just never told her.  He was so emotional and he didn't even tell his wife the things my mother said to him, but he was beyond hurt.  She told him to go home...he did, she called me and told me that she was so afraid he would wrap his car around a pole because he was so hurt and exhausted.

Not even ten minutes later, I see her number come across my phone, I froze, so afraid to answer it, but I did and she "yelled, Joni...David has been shot.  I went down, I thought it can't be bad, they only live in a town of about 2000-3000 people, I thought maybe it was just an accident.  His wife was screaming in my ear, that they air lifted him and he was alive...she gave me the local police department's number, they would not confirm anything other than there was a shooting and they would call me back.  Never heard back, I called them, and told me to call the hospital, that he had been taken there...I thought, oh thank you, God, he is alive.  I talked to the ER doctor, not thinking, why was he on the phone.  I asked him how my brother was and he said "NOT GOOD".  I yelled, please save my brother, he is strong, he just had a baby, please do everything you can to save him, please.  He said "you don't understand, your brother passed away".  I totally lost it, I've never screamed, cried and lost it like that, ever!!!  I yelled at him, "NO, TRY AGAIN"...he said the paramedics tried at the scene and he and his staff worked on him for 20 minutes at the hospital, they couldn't save my little brother.

Now...all the calls started coming in, from the police, his wife, you name it.  It was not real, I didn't and still cannot accept it.  The next day, I had to call the police chief, to find out details, then the coroner...never will repeat what he told me...totally horrifying.  My little brother was an organ donor, and two people did receive his cornea's but his major organs could not be donated because it was a crime and they had to make sure the gun to his heart is what killed him. 

What we found out was, once he left the hospital, he was on his way home, a dog ran out in front of him, he is an animal lover from growing up on the farm...he stopped his vehicle got out, and this is where I need to be vague, because of the ongoing investigation and can't say much.  But there was a 17 year old boy in his truck in the driveway, my brother went up to him and said there is a leash law, what that your dog I almost hit...this boy ran over my brother's leg, tearing off one shoe and sock.  My brother went to the neighbor for helped, they said no, and slammed the door in his face.  The 17 year old got out of his truck and came at my brother, he pushed him, my brother pushed back...the father came out of the house and started in, he went back into the home, came back outside and had the 22 pistol tucked up under his shirt, pulled it out, and shot my brother right in the heart.  HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING!!!  My brother pulled up his shirt, to see where the bullet had hit, and went down, he bled out...the man didn't even try to save him, nor the neighbors. There were at least 6 witnesses and all said my brother did nothing wrong, one young girl is in hiding, because she is afraid this man will come after her.  My sister-in-laws parents, live right behind this house, and her mother heard the gun shot that night.  They can't go into their backyard, because they can see where my brother was murdered.  And when they pass the house of the man who murdered my brother, if he is out, he looks up and waves at them, with a hateful look on his face.   How can anyone be that cruel.  You're probably asking, why is he not in jail...because it's a law in this southern state if you are on someones property, you have the right to shoot and kill them.  Explain that to me!!!  All he did was walk up to see whose dog it was and was murdered!!!! 

I can't explain this pain, it is not a human pain, I've never felt it before.  It is the worse pain you could ever imagine, and to know this killer is walking free while my brother will never come back to us - why?  I know I have to go to grief counseling, but I can't think of that now.  I have to get an attorney in that State, and then we are all going in front of the Grand Jury sometime in January or February...I don't have time for me...I am my brother's voice, I have to do this for him.  Though, I don't know how to survive this, I have to stay strong and healthy to do this for him and his precious family.  I know my brother is in heaven with our Lord, and is at peace, but I am totally selfish, I want him here with us.  I feel like I am getting weaker and crying more each day.  I know God will help me through this, but I just want my brother back.  He was such a wonderful man, an artist, chef, and could he bake and decorate the most beautiful cakes you have ever seen...gorgeous beyond words.  I miss him so much.  I hope this post isn't inappropriate, but I just had to put it into words.  The night before my brother was murdered, I found out my cousin had died...he was older in his early 70's.  Well, I've lost three brothers in five years.  I will never forget them...

Years ago, my little brother was lost...his father walked out on him, and he had to take care of my mother, the song I've attached was one of his favorites sites at the top... we had them play it at his Mass, it reminds me so much of how much he loved God.  Thank you for letting me put my pain into words.  Onto the next step of healing.

18 comments:

  1. Joni, I don't know what to say. My heart is completely broken in two for you. I can't say anything that will make you feel better, but please know I am hurting and crying with you. You will be in my prayers every single day. I can't even imagine all of this. I am so sorry and please contact me if you need anything!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I felt like I was reading a sad news paper article of a murder and it was far from my life. But when it happens to a bloggie friend it tells me things like this really happen to good people. My heart go's out to you and your family.... This is indeed sad.... While you go through the steps of grieving then healing don't forget to take very good care of yourself.
    I'm so sorry!
    Sandy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my gosh...what a tragic thing to happen to your family. I'm so sorry to read this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh sweet friend, I am so very very sorry!

    I am so grateful that God can hear our hearts because there are no sufficient words to plead our case to Him when our hearts are breaking. May He hold you up and hold you close today.

    Hugs,
    Kat

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just want to thank you all so much for all your sweet and kind words. Each day, seems to get worse, but I know that justice will be served, but most of all, I know that my sweet baby brother is at peace. With the holidays approaching, I had decided, I didn't want to celebrate...that has changed. He loved the holidays so much, so for him, with what energy I have, I am going all out, in his memory! Again, thank you so much. I start a new job on Monday, one I was so hoping for before this happened...it too will keep my mind busy, which of course is another way God is helping me through this. God Bless you all.

    Joni

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so sorry. I will hold you and your family in my prayers.
    There are no words ... only prayers.
    Blessings and light to you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Joni,
    After reading this my heart is just broke. I am in shock to say the least. Please know I am praying for you and your family daily. If you need someone to talk too, or pray with, please call me. 865-938-0878.
    The world we are living in, has no value on life. You have a friend, and a shoulder to cry on, please remember that God loves you, has you in his hands.

    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just stopping by again to say hi and to see if you wrote a post. I know the loss of your brother has devastated your family. Holidays are even harder without those we love. Just know there are lots of us who care and are praying for you sweet friend.

    Hugs,
    Kat

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you all again, and for the new sweet comments. I haven't felt much like blogging, since my brother's death. It just seems to get harder each day. I have however decided to go to the grief counseling...I have not choice, if I want to be strong again to help fight for justice for my litttle brother. I so much appreicate the prayers. I would love to write about my brother, and show some of his beautiful cakes he made, you wouldn't believe them, and tell you about his children and how is little girl last night told me, that she was saving a piece of pizza for her Daddy. My heart just broke. I asked her if she knew where her Daddy was, and she said "Aunt Joni(in her sweet little southern accent), "I'm happy", and I asked her why she was happy and she said "because my Daddy is in Heaven with Jesus", and I am going to send a card to him in Heaven...and I will see him again. I had to get off the phone, I couldn't stop crying. I know that my brother is here watching over all of us, and God is in control, I just wish I could have my brother back...I wish the pain would get a little easier to bare, but it's not. People such as you, for whom I've never met, sure to make it a little easier, because you are the kind of people the world needs a lot more of. God Bless you all.

    Joni
    Desert Dreaming

    ReplyDelete
  10. OMG! I just now read this and was so shocked to hear this. I am so Sorry for your Loss and I can only imagine what you are going through. I am thinking of you and your family and know that justice will be served. Stay Strong!!! HUGS!!!!! Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Joni,

    So sorry about your brother I can't even imagine how devastating this must be for you and your family. Sending you a BIG hug and prayer that there is justice for your brother.

    Sincerely,
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  12. Joni, I have just returned to blogging after my sister's passing. It took four months for me to even begin to come to grips with such a devastating loss. I'm going to give you the same advice you gave me, "Think of those beautiful memories…let others help you and get some rest when you can.

    I'm glad to see you decided to go to grief counseling and I hope that is helping.

    I know you've been through this before, but it never gets easier to loose someone so close. If you need ANYTHING, just shoot me an email, I'll be there for you in anyway I can, if only a shoulder of someone who is experiencing much of the same type of grief.

    I know words are only words, but please know that my heart is with you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Joni

    I hope you're doing better each day. It's so hard to understand when bad things happen to good people! I'm so glad you're going for grief counseling. You're missed here in "the land of blogging", but we all understand and will be here when you decide to come back. Just know there are lots of us out here thinking of you and praying for your family.

    Hugs,
    Kat

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Joni,

    I bet this season must be hard without your brother. Sending you hugs and I hope you have a peaceful Christmas with your family.

    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thinking of you Joni. Sending you lots of love and hugs and prayers! xoxo.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy New Year sweet friend!

    Just wanted you to know you're missed here in the Land of Blog. I hope you'll return soon.

    BTW...just like my blog post tonight expresses - YOU are important to me. Thanks for your friendship.

    Hugs,
    Kat

    ReplyDelete
  17. I must admit, you all are some of the sweetest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, even if it's just online. I am hanging in there, not well, but nonetheless, doing the best I can. It's been over two months now and we are just waiting to hear when the Grand Jury will meet...hopefully very soon and we can put this monster where he belongs, in jail until the trial. I am getting some counseling which is helping deal with the pain and the fear...but I still just wish I had my baby brother back. This world lost an angel on earth the day he was murdered...but I have peace knowing he is in Heaven and no one can ever hurt him again. We tried to have a nice Christmas, and I think it was very warm and quiet, but that void was still there. I need to get back on here and read everyone's great posts and get back to some normality in my life. Your kind words and support have helped more than you know. For any of us who have lost those close to us, which is probably just about everyone, you know the pain...but when they are murdered, there are no words to describe the pain. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband and daughter, who if not for them, I don't know if I could have been as strong as I have had to be. They are my rock. Again, thank you all so much...you are all truly a great bunch of beautiful woman. God Bless each and everyone of you!!! Joni

    ReplyDelete
  18. Just checking in on you today. Glad to see your words above. I know the holidays had to be so rough on you. I think of you often and everything you are going through. I can not imagine the pain. I hope the trial comes soon and justice is done. I am lifting you up to God and I hope you feel some peace and comfort. love ya friend.

    ReplyDelete