About Me

My photo
I was motivated to start a blog by reading all the wonderful talented individual's who have blogs out there. So, I want to make this blog about everyone who reads it. My family and God always comes first in my life. I want to share my experiences and in turn, hope to get feedback and ideas from you. I love unique things, I adore anything that sparkles (not over the top though) I love decorating, cooking, gardening, photography and shopping. My number one passion is photography! To me it becomes more than a picture, it can become a piece of art, or a beautiful memory. Decorating, though I am not a professional, and don't claim to be, has been a part of my life since I was very young, and just love searching and shopping for new ideas and incorporate the old, such as Mid-Century Modern and Hollywood Regency with contemporary. Living close to the Gulf of Mexico in Florida, and being of Hispanic heritage, I love cooking Mexican food, and love to share my authentic recipes. Though I live in Florida, my heart is in the desert southwest, and hope that my family and I will return there very soon…keep your fingers crossed that my prayers are answered SOON!!!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Loss of my Baby Brother....


Three weeks ago on Saturday, my handsome, sweet, loving, Christian, brother and his wife had their second baby, another precious little girl, Kara, she was a big baby around 8 pds 10 oz.  She began losing weight, so had to go back into the hospital, only being home for less then two weeks.  My brother worked 60 hours a week, and was so exhausted from work, being at the hospital and he was back in school for his Masters.  One week ago, last Thursday, he got into an argument with my Mother, for whom he did everything in the world for.  Well, she lived up in this southern state where he did, and one day back in June decided to not tell him, and move back here to Florida for my nephew to take care of her.  She was here not even a month, fell, and was placed into a nursing home.  She continued to call my brother that she wanted to come back up there....she didn't even know they were having another baby.  My little brother, only 42,  was so devastated by what she did, he just never told her.  He was so emotional and he didn't even tell his wife the things my mother said to him, but he was beyond hurt.  She told him to go home...he did, she called me and told me that she was so afraid he would wrap his car around a pole because he was so hurt and exhausted.

Not even ten minutes later, I see her number come across my phone, I froze, so afraid to answer it, but I did and she "yelled, Joni...David has been shot.  I went down, I thought it can't be bad, they only live in a town of about 2000-3000 people, I thought maybe it was just an accident.  His wife was screaming in my ear, that they air lifted him and he was alive...she gave me the local police department's number, they would not confirm anything other than there was a shooting and they would call me back.  Never heard back, I called them, and told me to call the hospital, that he had been taken there...I thought, oh thank you, God, he is alive.  I talked to the ER doctor, not thinking, why was he on the phone.  I asked him how my brother was and he said "NOT GOOD".  I yelled, please save my brother, he is strong, he just had a baby, please do everything you can to save him, please.  He said "you don't understand, your brother passed away".  I totally lost it, I've never screamed, cried and lost it like that, ever!!!  I yelled at him, "NO, TRY AGAIN"...he said the paramedics tried at the scene and he and his staff worked on him for 20 minutes at the hospital, they couldn't save my little brother.

Now...all the calls started coming in, from the police, his wife, you name it.  It was not real, I didn't and still cannot accept it.  The next day, I had to call the police chief, to find out details, then the coroner...never will repeat what he told me...totally horrifying.  My little brother was an organ donor, and two people did receive his cornea's but his major organs could not be donated because it was a crime and they had to make sure the gun to his heart is what killed him. 

What we found out was, once he left the hospital, he was on his way home, a dog ran out in front of him, he is an animal lover from growing up on the farm...he stopped his vehicle got out, and this is where I need to be vague, because of the ongoing investigation and can't say much.  But there was a 17 year old boy in his truck in the driveway, my brother went up to him and said there is a leash law, what that your dog I almost hit...this boy ran over my brother's leg, tearing off one shoe and sock.  My brother went to the neighbor for helped, they said no, and slammed the door in his face.  The 17 year old got out of his truck and came at my brother, he pushed him, my brother pushed back...the father came out of the house and started in, he went back into the home, came back outside and had the 22 pistol tucked up under his shirt, pulled it out, and shot my brother right in the heart.  HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING!!!  My brother pulled up his shirt, to see where the bullet had hit, and went down, he bled out...the man didn't even try to save him, nor the neighbors. There were at least 6 witnesses and all said my brother did nothing wrong, one young girl is in hiding, because she is afraid this man will come after her.  My sister-in-laws parents, live right behind this house, and her mother heard the gun shot that night.  They can't go into their backyard, because they can see where my brother was murdered.  And when they pass the house of the man who murdered my brother, if he is out, he looks up and waves at them, with a hateful look on his face.   How can anyone be that cruel.  You're probably asking, why is he not in jail...because it's a law in this southern state if you are on someones property, you have the right to shoot and kill them.  Explain that to me!!!  All he did was walk up to see whose dog it was and was murdered!!!! 

I can't explain this pain, it is not a human pain, I've never felt it before.  It is the worse pain you could ever imagine, and to know this killer is walking free while my brother will never come back to us - why?  I know I have to go to grief counseling, but I can't think of that now.  I have to get an attorney in that State, and then we are all going in front of the Grand Jury sometime in January or February...I don't have time for me...I am my brother's voice, I have to do this for him.  Though, I don't know how to survive this, I have to stay strong and healthy to do this for him and his precious family.  I know my brother is in heaven with our Lord, and is at peace, but I am totally selfish, I want him here with us.  I feel like I am getting weaker and crying more each day.  I know God will help me through this, but I just want my brother back.  He was such a wonderful man, an artist, chef, and could he bake and decorate the most beautiful cakes you have ever seen...gorgeous beyond words.  I miss him so much.  I hope this post isn't inappropriate, but I just had to put it into words.  The night before my brother was murdered, I found out my cousin had died...he was older in his early 70's.  Well, I've lost three brothers in five years.  I will never forget them...

Years ago, my little brother was lost...his father walked out on him, and he had to take care of my mother, the song I've attached was one of his favorites sites at the top... we had them play it at his Mass, it reminds me so much of how much he loved God.  Thank you for letting me put my pain into words.  Onto the next step of healing.